Good Book!
Bridging The Great Divide: Musings Of A Post-Liberal, Post-Conservative Evangelical Catholic by Fr. Robert Barron.
...though I can’t figure out why the hardcover edition retails for $65. The paperback is packed with plenty of intellectual property, so what’s with the hardcover? Pictures? A pop-up book? Musical sound chips? Oh, well. I don’t think you’re missing out if you just run out and get the paperback - as I did last week-end.
That made for a great week-end, despite a toothache, a bad hip and a phantom pain that turned up in my ‘good’ leg and hip. Reading this (alternated with watching The Omen on AMC) made for a good time.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Allow me,
a woman with one genuine precitpitous labor ‘under her belt’, to suggest Fast Eddie instead.
a woman with one genuine precitpitous labor ‘under her belt’, to suggest Fast Eddie instead.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Causa mortis.
The death register that I work in has a very small space for ‘remarks’ for each entry. Remarks most always consist of cremation, were the ashes present for the Mass, final destination of the ashes is not immediately buried etc. I am just one career jump from being one of those people who can write the Getttysburg Address on the back of a postage stamp.
Yesterday I finally found time to look up some records for a woman who is doing research into her family history. My search was not particularly successful, but I did find reading the old death register to be quite fascinating. The old book format had a much larger remark section which called for, among other things, the cause of death. Despite the unremarkability of most and absolute pathos of a few, there were some that made me laugh out loud. May the late entrants, and the previous holders of my job, forgive me...
TOP FIVE FUNNY CAUSES OF DEATH (bear in mind that these pop up among long lists of normal causes of death...)
5.DOA I’m assuming they meant at the hospital, not the church.
4.Mass concelebrated by four priests I know four means death in Japanese, but I personally have never felt unwell while at a Mass concelebrated by four priests.
3.Sleep Economy of words. Many entries said ‘died in sleep.’ But a few had just ‘sleep.’ Would this be like ‘suffocated by wife because of snoring?’
2.Lived in Lake Bluff for most of life. Many people do have that feeling that they’ll just die if they don’t get out of the old home town.
and
1.Non-Catholic mother-in-law Having a Methodist mother-in-law, this gave me the biggest laugh. (Lest I laugh too hard, there may well be a Methodist document out there that lists “Catholic daughter-in-law” as a complicating factor in some poor woman’s life. ) I must remember to relate this at our next family dinner. My m-i-l is a dear lady with a great sense of humor, so I think she’ll enjoy it.
The death register that I work in has a very small space for ‘remarks’ for each entry. Remarks most always consist of cremation, were the ashes present for the Mass, final destination of the ashes is not immediately buried etc. I am just one career jump from being one of those people who can write the Getttysburg Address on the back of a postage stamp.
Yesterday I finally found time to look up some records for a woman who is doing research into her family history. My search was not particularly successful, but I did find reading the old death register to be quite fascinating. The old book format had a much larger remark section which called for, among other things, the cause of death. Despite the unremarkability of most and absolute pathos of a few, there were some that made me laugh out loud. May the late entrants, and the previous holders of my job, forgive me...
TOP FIVE FUNNY CAUSES OF DEATH (bear in mind that these pop up among long lists of normal causes of death...)
5.DOA I’m assuming they meant at the hospital, not the church.
4.Mass concelebrated by four priests I know four means death in Japanese, but I personally have never felt unwell while at a Mass concelebrated by four priests.
3.Sleep Economy of words. Many entries said ‘died in sleep.’ But a few had just ‘sleep.’ Would this be like ‘suffocated by wife because of snoring?’
2.Lived in Lake Bluff for most of life. Many people do have that feeling that they’ll just die if they don’t get out of the old home town.
and
1.Non-Catholic mother-in-law Having a Methodist mother-in-law, this gave me the biggest laugh. (Lest I laugh too hard, there may well be a Methodist document out there that lists “Catholic daughter-in-law” as a complicating factor in some poor woman’s life. ) I must remember to relate this at our next family dinner. My m-i-l is a dear lady with a great sense of humor, so I think she’ll enjoy it.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Real Desperate Housewives
What is the appeal of ABC’s Desperate Housewives? Could it be that it has nothing to do with real desperate housewives? They way I look at it, there are two groups of desperate housewives. A) Those who problems are so profoundly sad and/or dangerous they could in no way be incorporated into fluffy entertainment. B) Those whose desperation is already being touched on by sitcoms.
The wives on Wysteria Lane are so different, so unreal, so.....entertaining. (“Wysteria Lane” is the archetypal Hollywood neighborhood street. You can make a little game of naming all the shows and movies that you’ve seen it in. And I think there is a reason that they haven’t tried to disguise it. Oh, and I’m sure one of the houses was once lived in by Beaver Cleaver. So poetic....) Their desperation is very unlike mine. No one is wandering with the beginnings of a head cold that just won’t get on with it. None of these ladies has a head so stuffy that she thought the priest was speaking in Latin at Mass when he most certainly wasn’t; their angst isn’t symbolized by the loose and poorly laid kitchen tiles; their terror isn’t caused by hearing the strange scratchings of what may be a rodent moving in for the winter; their shock and disappointment with their children is not proven by a boy taking his coat off at church to reveal a “Sponge Bob Party Pants” T-shirt. I guess I’ll keep my desperation and bide my time until Arrested Development is back on. *
*This week also included some sort of swipe at homeschooling, but I didn’t catch if it was nasty, funny, nasty-funny. I dozed in and out of most of the show in a drug induced haze...just trying to clear my head for the week ahead. It didn’t help. And I was really off guard when a fight broke out between the boys during a spirited game of Riskopoly. Don’t ask how to play Riskopoly......it involves mixing the pieces of Risk and Monopoly. Rules? Who knows. But it appears to end with shouting, maternal palpitations and one child (winner? loser?) locking his bedroom door while the other pounds and yells, “It’s my room, too.”
What is the appeal of ABC’s Desperate Housewives? Could it be that it has nothing to do with real desperate housewives? They way I look at it, there are two groups of desperate housewives. A) Those who problems are so profoundly sad and/or dangerous they could in no way be incorporated into fluffy entertainment. B) Those whose desperation is already being touched on by sitcoms.
The wives on Wysteria Lane are so different, so unreal, so.....entertaining. (“Wysteria Lane” is the archetypal Hollywood neighborhood street. You can make a little game of naming all the shows and movies that you’ve seen it in. And I think there is a reason that they haven’t tried to disguise it. Oh, and I’m sure one of the houses was once lived in by Beaver Cleaver. So poetic....) Their desperation is very unlike mine. No one is wandering with the beginnings of a head cold that just won’t get on with it. None of these ladies has a head so stuffy that she thought the priest was speaking in Latin at Mass when he most certainly wasn’t; their angst isn’t symbolized by the loose and poorly laid kitchen tiles; their terror isn’t caused by hearing the strange scratchings of what may be a rodent moving in for the winter; their shock and disappointment with their children is not proven by a boy taking his coat off at church to reveal a “Sponge Bob Party Pants” T-shirt. I guess I’ll keep my desperation and bide my time until Arrested Development is back on. *
*This week also included some sort of swipe at homeschooling, but I didn’t catch if it was nasty, funny, nasty-funny. I dozed in and out of most of the show in a drug induced haze...just trying to clear my head for the week ahead. It didn’t help. And I was really off guard when a fight broke out between the boys during a spirited game of Riskopoly. Don’t ask how to play Riskopoly......it involves mixing the pieces of Risk and Monopoly. Rules? Who knows. But it appears to end with shouting, maternal palpitations and one child (winner? loser?) locking his bedroom door while the other pounds and yells, “It’s my room, too.”
Friday, October 15, 2004
It's Friday......let's hit the road!
Where are you on the highway of life?
From Go-Quiz.com
| ||||||||||||||
From Go-Quiz.com
Language Lesson...
that the kids were best off missing. (It made the beagle howl, so it must have been good!) Was trying to steal a few last winks in the rainy darkness. My sweet half-sleep was disturbed by a loud exchange coming from the apartments next door. It was a little early for the kids to queuing up for the 6:30am high school bus, so I suppose these were freelance adults talking. I could have sworn that the one fellow had been given the assignment to use F**K in every way possible - noun, verb, adverb, adjective. I was torn between throwing open the window and yelling, “you forgot will be f**king,” or using my active listening skills and cheerfully calling out, “I’m hearing a lot of anger here.”
Once the dogs were riled up there was no point in trying to wring some relaxation out of the 7 minutes left before the alarm went off. Can’t wait for the end of daylight saving time so we can be back to a lighter morn. Then these tirades won’t be quite so annoying. Or I’ll be annoyed, but the light will have me awake so I can brace myself.
that the kids were best off missing. (It made the beagle howl, so it must have been good!) Was trying to steal a few last winks in the rainy darkness. My sweet half-sleep was disturbed by a loud exchange coming from the apartments next door. It was a little early for the kids to queuing up for the 6:30am high school bus, so I suppose these were freelance adults talking. I could have sworn that the one fellow had been given the assignment to use F**K in every way possible - noun, verb, adverb, adjective. I was torn between throwing open the window and yelling, “you forgot will be f**king,” or using my active listening skills and cheerfully calling out, “I’m hearing a lot of anger here.”
Once the dogs were riled up there was no point in trying to wring some relaxation out of the 7 minutes left before the alarm went off. Can’t wait for the end of daylight saving time so we can be back to a lighter morn. Then these tirades won’t be quite so annoying. Or I’ll be annoyed, but the light will have me awake so I can brace myself.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Please select the topic that best describes your message.
INDIGNANT was not available. So I chose INFLUENZA.
Alicia links to the CDC’s misguided advice for nursing mothers with flu.
INDIGNANT was not available. So I chose INFLUENZA.
Alicia links to the CDC’s misguided advice for nursing mothers with flu.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Were those customers parents?
Customers who bought this item also bought these items: What Are YOU So Grumpy About?
When I was a second grade aide last year there was an incident in which a parent took extreme umbrage with a teacher’s decision to disallow the oral reporting upon Walter the Farting Dog. The teacher held her ground. Some words were just not to be said in a classroom situation.
I would not dispute that there is some whimsy in a dog’s flatulence problem. (Well, there was Sarge, my sister’s late bulldog who could clear a room without making a sound. Sort of funny. Bordering on painful. But I would not memorialize him in a children’s book.) And we all know what will happen if Scrappy or Bess con us out of some peas or broccoli.
But there are some words we don’t say in polite company. I was amazed to see Walter promoted in a full-page ad for Marshall Field’s Children’s Reading Event. Marshall Field’s, Chicago’s own august State Street institution. A store that in my not-so-distant childhood would rather use the phrase ‘special selling’ instead of the more pedestrian ‘sale.’ And now they use the word FART in their advertising.
Customers who bought this item also bought these items: What Are YOU So Grumpy About?
When I was a second grade aide last year there was an incident in which a parent took extreme umbrage with a teacher’s decision to disallow the oral reporting upon Walter the Farting Dog. The teacher held her ground. Some words were just not to be said in a classroom situation.
I would not dispute that there is some whimsy in a dog’s flatulence problem. (Well, there was Sarge, my sister’s late bulldog who could clear a room without making a sound. Sort of funny. Bordering on painful. But I would not memorialize him in a children’s book.) And we all know what will happen if Scrappy or Bess con us out of some peas or broccoli.
But there are some words we don’t say in polite company. I was amazed to see Walter promoted in a full-page ad for Marshall Field’s Children’s Reading Event. Marshall Field’s, Chicago’s own august State Street institution. A store that in my not-so-distant childhood would rather use the phrase ‘special selling’ instead of the more pedestrian ‘sale.’ And now they use the word FART in their advertising.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Ouch! This chafes...
Note to Embot: If you agree, feel free to call me. Just go directly into voicemail so I don't bite your head off, OK?
You are starch. You are rigid, opinionated,
hard-willed and not too friendly about it. You
keep people out of places, or you keep them in,
and without you a lot of things would collapse.
hopefully you'll never have the authority to
burn people at the stake. Sir. Ma'am.
Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Link via Flos Carmeli.
Note to Embot: If you agree, feel free to call me. Just go directly into voicemail so I don't bite your head off, OK?
You are starch. You are rigid, opinionated,
hard-willed and not too friendly about it. You
keep people out of places, or you keep them in,
and without you a lot of things would collapse.
hopefully you'll never have the authority to
burn people at the stake. Sir. Ma'am.
Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Link via Flos Carmeli.
Monday, October 11, 2004
While Martha is out....
it behooves the rest of us to keep up the flow of domesticity. My contribution? 1) Re-arrange your furniture for Christmas. Now. I moved the sofa to discourage the dogs from using it as a lookout perch/nap venue. I may not be able to stop those naps, but that’s the end of three wacky dogs standing on the sofa and howling at passersby, squirrels etc. Of course, one thing led to another and before I knew it I was taking down all the things on the wall and dusting and washing everything. With the exception of the hutch and secretary, which are too heavy to be moved - period - I rearranged and cleaned everything in the living room. The first few people to pass through the room (including the hapless and everhelpful Charles who wound up hefting furniture) were told that it was better that I do it now rather than under duress while the Christmas tree waits on the front porch. When Embot showed up to join us for dinner and asked if I was getting ready for Christmas, I wasn’t laughing. Coming from someone else, it sounded, well, demented.
2) When hosting a debate party, provide your guests with a big basket of Beanie Babies to toss at the tube. This one is from my sister, who had a bunch of friends over on Friday night, and decided that Beanie Babies would be a civilized outlet for their anti-Republican energies. I’m glad I don’t attend these functions. I’d be tossing alone and with my luck I’d get the Baby with some sort of hard plastic appendage that would actually fracture the TV screen, making me some sort of double-stinky cheese.
This could also be applicable to sporting events. I don’t like football at all, so I could toss Babies with all sides. Fun.
it behooves the rest of us to keep up the flow of domesticity. My contribution? 1) Re-arrange your furniture for Christmas. Now. I moved the sofa to discourage the dogs from using it as a lookout perch/nap venue. I may not be able to stop those naps, but that’s the end of three wacky dogs standing on the sofa and howling at passersby, squirrels etc. Of course, one thing led to another and before I knew it I was taking down all the things on the wall and dusting and washing everything. With the exception of the hutch and secretary, which are too heavy to be moved - period - I rearranged and cleaned everything in the living room. The first few people to pass through the room (including the hapless and everhelpful Charles who wound up hefting furniture) were told that it was better that I do it now rather than under duress while the Christmas tree waits on the front porch. When Embot showed up to join us for dinner and asked if I was getting ready for Christmas, I wasn’t laughing. Coming from someone else, it sounded, well, demented.
2) When hosting a debate party, provide your guests with a big basket of Beanie Babies to toss at the tube. This one is from my sister, who had a bunch of friends over on Friday night, and decided that Beanie Babies would be a civilized outlet for their anti-Republican energies. I’m glad I don’t attend these functions. I’d be tossing alone and with my luck I’d get the Baby with some sort of hard plastic appendage that would actually fracture the TV screen, making me some sort of double-stinky cheese.
This could also be applicable to sporting events. I don’t like football at all, so I could toss Babies with all sides. Fun.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Hello Kitty. Good-bye, money.
Joanne Jacobs on the Hello Kitty Debit Card.
Another sign of the end times.
Destiny’s Supersize Child
Here’s the really disturbing part....
”We believe this appeals to kids, and when kids are happy Mom is happy,"said Larry Light, the hamburger chain's global chief marketing officer, in an interview following a press conference to announce the endorsement. “
Kids? If you are young enough to want a Happy Meal, you shouldn’t be a Destiny’s Child fan. I don’t think there Destiny’s Child fans. But that’s just one lady’s aesthetic opinion.
Here’s the really disturbing part....
”We believe this appeals to kids, and when kids are happy Mom is happy,"said Larry Light, the hamburger chain's global chief marketing officer, in an interview following a press conference to announce the endorsement. “
Kids? If you are young enough to want a Happy Meal, you shouldn’t be a Destiny’s Child fan. I don’t think there Destiny’s Child fans. But that’s just one lady’s aesthetic opinion.
Who'll go first? Mt. St. Helen's or Mt. Mrs. Ellyn?
Just one of those weeks....Or maybe it's just allergies. One more good frost and the pounding in my head will stop. And the ornamental cabbages are looking marvelous.
From Go-Quiz.com
Just one of those weeks....Or maybe it's just allergies. One more good frost and the pounding in my head will stop. And the ornamental cabbages are looking marvelous.
| Ellyn may explode without warning |
| M EXPLOSIVE |
From Go-Quiz.com
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
|
Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com
Link via Sleepy Mommy Peony.
I've reduced the size of the worm picture...
but another worm takes up residence.for the sake of the more delicate reader. It did not go over too well with the family, either. I must admit to a bit of passive-agressive behavior on my part. The family was grousing about an IMac undergoing work on the dining room table. The work - a charitable concern, pater reminded us - was not finished when our light supper was ready so we just ate around it. I was becoming increasingly annoyed with the complaining about the Mac's presence, since those complaining were not those who were intending to sup with the family.* And I became bored with the computer chatter among the males and their hope that I would be enthused at the ethernet connection of the ailing computer. So I said to Rick, "Now that you're wireless, maybe you'd want to take a look at my blog." I'm not sure if he did see it, since he asked me what was new with the blog and I did blurt out a preemptory discussion of heartworms as a metaphor for sin. Oh, well, one more worm for me to deal with.
*Thanks for the memories, kids. We were allowed to read, work crossword puzzles, etc. at breakfast and lunch. Books, magazines, refernce works would pile up. And then the person who felt outnumbered would make a comment along the lines of, "what is this, the Chrisitian Science Reading Room?"
but another worm takes up residence.for the sake of the more delicate reader. It did not go over too well with the family, either. I must admit to a bit of passive-agressive behavior on my part. The family was grousing about an IMac undergoing work on the dining room table. The work - a charitable concern, pater reminded us - was not finished when our light supper was ready so we just ate around it. I was becoming increasingly annoyed with the complaining about the Mac's presence, since those complaining were not those who were intending to sup with the family.* And I became bored with the computer chatter among the males and their hope that I would be enthused at the ethernet connection of the ailing computer. So I said to Rick, "Now that you're wireless, maybe you'd want to take a look at my blog." I'm not sure if he did see it, since he asked me what was new with the blog and I did blurt out a preemptory discussion of heartworms as a metaphor for sin. Oh, well, one more worm for me to deal with.
*Thanks for the memories, kids. We were allowed to read, work crossword puzzles, etc. at breakfast and lunch. Books, magazines, refernce works would pile up. And then the person who felt outnumbered would make a comment along the lines of, "what is this, the Chrisitian Science Reading Room?"
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
And neither do souls....
Arteries do not do well having worms living inside them.
When over 50 worms are present, the ventricle is full and the atrium, the chamber receiving blood from the rest of the body, begins to contain worms. When over 100 worms are present, the entire right side of the heart is filled with worms and there is very little room for any blood to be pumped. This drastic phenomenon is called "Caval Syndrome" and most dogs do not survive it. As they grow they restrict blood flow in the heart and can cause permanent heart damage.
The front office of the veterinary clinic where our Franny works has an assortment of educational pictures to inform us of the dangers of parasites. (As if I had forgotten the tape worms in jar from my high school bio days...) The image that grosses me out the most is the heart infested with heartworms. (Sorry I couldn’t figure out a way to link to the image so that viewing it is optional. Maybe I’ll remove it in a few days.)
The last time I went to confession I was searching for an apt description for the multitude of small sins that had built up and were hindering my spiritual health. So I blurted out that my soul was like the heart pictured above. (Lucky for my confessor, I didn’t have a HeartGard brochure to pull out of my pocket. Luckily for me, my confessor is very understanding of my use of metaphor.) I may look ok from the outside, but my soul was clogged with ‘worms.’ Unlike a poor puppy, all I needed to do to remove the worms was name them and ask forgiveness. Confession: HeartGard for the human soul!
Arteries do not do well having worms living inside them.
When over 50 worms are present, the ventricle is full and the atrium, the chamber receiving blood from the rest of the body, begins to contain worms. When over 100 worms are present, the entire right side of the heart is filled with worms and there is very little room for any blood to be pumped. This drastic phenomenon is called "Caval Syndrome" and most dogs do not survive it. As they grow they restrict blood flow in the heart and can cause permanent heart damage.
The front office of the veterinary clinic where our Franny works has an assortment of educational pictures to inform us of the dangers of parasites. (As if I had forgotten the tape worms in jar from my high school bio days...) The image that grosses me out the most is the heart infested with heartworms. (Sorry I couldn’t figure out a way to link to the image so that viewing it is optional. Maybe I’ll remove it in a few days.)
The last time I went to confession I was searching for an apt description for the multitude of small sins that had built up and were hindering my spiritual health. So I blurted out that my soul was like the heart pictured above. (Lucky for my confessor, I didn’t have a HeartGard brochure to pull out of my pocket. Luckily for me, my confessor is very understanding of my use of metaphor.) I may look ok from the outside, but my soul was clogged with ‘worms.’ Unlike a poor puppy, all I needed to do to remove the worms was name them and ask forgiveness. Confession: HeartGard for the human soul!
Monday, October 04, 2004
If I Were a Bride...
Another reason I wouldn’t have that maudlin Billy Joel Just the Way You Are as my first dance. (I think it should be banned altogether. But that’s just my opinion. I just think it is about as deep as that I Love You song that Barney sings. And at least Barney isn’t going through wives faster than we get new cars. Unless his agent is just keeping it all hush-hush.)
Another reason I wouldn’t have that maudlin Billy Joel Just the Way You Are as my first dance. (I think it should be banned altogether. But that’s just my opinion. I just think it is about as deep as that I Love You song that Barney sings. And at least Barney isn’t going through wives faster than we get new cars. Unless his agent is just keeping it all hush-hush.)
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