While Martha is out....

it behooves the rest of us to keep up the flow of domesticity. My contribution? 1) Re-arrange your furniture for Christmas. Now. I moved the sofa to discourage the dogs from using it as a lookout perch/nap venue. I may not be able to stop those naps, but that’s the end of three wacky dogs standing on the sofa and howling at passersby, squirrels etc. Of course, one thing led to another and before I knew it I was taking down all the things on the wall and dusting and washing everything. With the exception of the hutch and secretary, which are too heavy to be moved - period - I rearranged and cleaned everything in the living room. The first few people to pass through the room (including the hapless and everhelpful Charles who wound up hefting furniture) were told that it was better that I do it now rather than under duress while the Christmas tree waits on the front porch. When Embot showed up to join us for dinner and asked if I was getting ready for Christmas, I wasn’t laughing. Coming from someone else, it sounded, well, demented.

2) When hosting a debate party, provide your guests with a big basket of Beanie Babies to toss at the tube. This one is from my sister, who had a bunch of friends over on Friday night, and decided that Beanie Babies would be a civilized outlet for their anti-Republican energies. I’m glad I don’t attend these functions. I’d be tossing alone and with my luck I’d get the Baby with some sort of hard plastic appendage that would actually fracture the TV screen, making me some sort of double-stinky cheese.

This could also be applicable to sporting events. I don’t like football at all, so I could toss Babies with all sides. Fun.