Sunday, September 09, 2012

And no - I'm not endorsing everything she does.
My Mind is Always Elsewhere
It’s a rare event for me to ask my husband to watch a short clip of a favorite TV show that he can’t stand to try to explain the way I feel about things.  It was an experiment for me to ask him to watch the beginning of the “Far Away Places” episode of Mad Men just to give him some insight into the frustration I feel about coming home tired and preoccupied at the end of the day.  I am tired; mental exhaustion that has, of late, translated into physical exhaustion and its concomittant irritability. 

When I saw the beginning of “Far Away Places,” there was a moment of realization of my life played out in the short exchange between Peggy and her paramour Abe.  (BTW - what’s happened to Abe?  Didn’t see much of him in the episodes after the awful dinner with Peggy’s mother to announce that they were shacking up.  Is he just Peggy’s house-not quite-husband, freelancing plus cooking, cleaning etc. while Peggy so gloriously advances her career?  Or did Peggy’s mother kill him?  Just wondering. I am quite fond of Abe.)

Peggy is preoccupied.  Abe doesn’t understand.  Peggy tries to placate him by finally giving in to his request for an evening at the movies, but adds that she can’t promise her mind won’t be elsewhere.  And Abe says, “Your mind is always elsewhere!”  As you might imagine, this exchange didn’t end well.  Abe didn’t understand Peggy.  Peggy didn’t understand Abe.

So it goes. (is it plagiarism if you habitually use phrases from favorite authors?)  Some people think I just sit at a desk and pick up a phone for a career. Actually, that is how I started out; but that was eleven years ago.  I do a lot of ”stuff.”  Some of the stuff is just too tiring to explain when I’m already worn out.  Some of the stuff I just am not at liberty to discuss.  That is another reason why I liked chilling out watching Rev. with my significant other.  We both laugh - and I think he gets more of a picture into church-work life than I could ever describe.

I come home in the evening and my mind is elsewhere.  Which is why I am parking it all here.  There was a time I was much more obsessive about blogging every little thing that floated through my mind.  And I think it was good for me.  It helped me reel in my mind.  Freeing up space for God and prayer, conversation, fun.

The other option is more time spent lazing around, with my mind elsewhere and my body here, becoming more and more Fat Betty than pro-active Peggy.  I don’t want to go down the path of real despair.  (Although I could go for some Bugles about now.  I had forgotten about Bugles until I saw Betty sitting on the couch with them.)

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