"...a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
This is no Christmas story...  Another fun Saturday begins with Martha's attempt to bring the faucet replacement to fruition.  (the faucet has been sitting there in the box for a month and Martha decided the time had come and she was the one to go forward)  Already things have taken a turn for the worse.  She's off to Lowe's to possibly return the faucet, definitely buy a new sink and other under the sink plumbing peripherals.  Something about a rotted trap.  Don't even want to look.  I'll trust her on this.

When Rick and I were at Lowe's to buy the faucet we looked at new sinks.  And a cabinet - which really does need replacement.  (The old one has lasted about thirty years - not bad for something made of a pressed wood amalgam.  The past 14 years have been hard on it, i.e. the years that we have lived here.  It's coming apart in chunks.  Not pieces - chunks.)  But if we did that we'd have to address the floor.  And if we do the floor we should replace the toilet - which is a definite professional job because of the strange way the pipes were originally soldered.  The downstairs powder room toilet is easy to replace - I think it's been done three times.  Fran could do it blindfolded.  And then there's the shower unit - that would have to come out.  We go in to Lowe's to buy a $50 faucet and come out with me almost in tears, trying to assume the fetal position in the front seat of the car while muttering about $10,000 repair jobs.  And that trip to Lowe's was a date.  As in romantic, let's keep fun in our marriage date.  And people think shows like "The Middle" - very funny! - are just making this kind of thing up.  They're not.