Saturday, September 08, 2012

"...a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
This is no Christmas story...  Another fun Saturday begins with Martha's attempt to bring the faucet replacement to fruition.  (the faucet has been sitting there in the box for a month and Martha decided the time had come and she was the one to go forward)  Already things have taken a turn for the worse.  She's off to Lowe's to possibly return the faucet, definitely buy a new sink and other under the sink plumbing peripherals.  Something about a rotted trap.  Don't even want to look.  I'll trust her on this.

When Rick and I were at Lowe's to buy the faucet we looked at new sinks.  And a cabinet - which really does need replacement.  (The old one has lasted about thirty years - not bad for something made of a pressed wood amalgam.  The past 14 years have been hard on it, i.e. the years that we have lived here.  It's coming apart in chunks.  Not pieces - chunks.)  But if we did that we'd have to address the floor.  And if we do the floor we should replace the toilet - which is a definite professional job because of the strange way the pipes were originally soldered.  The downstairs powder room toilet is easy to replace - I think it's been done three times.  Fran could do it blindfolded.  And then there's the shower unit - that would have to come out.  We go in to Lowe's to buy a $50 faucet and come out with me almost in tears, trying to assume the fetal position in the front seat of the car while muttering about $10,000 repair jobs.  And that trip to Lowe's was a date.  As in romantic, let's keep fun in our marriage date.  And people think shows like "The Middle" - very funny! - are just making this kind of thing up.  They're not.  


Merther said...

This has taught me a lesson to never assume a task at the vonhuben house could ever be simple. I started out thinking this has to be done so I will do it. "Replace a faucet? No problem. I'm a very handy person and I follow instructions well. How hard could it be?" I Should have figured out that I was screwed when I couldn't turn the water shut off knobs. I am merely thankful I wasn't under the sink when the rusted out pipes gave way. Now I wait for my boyfriend to return for our trip to lowes. Simple task my ass.
It's dysfunctional and funny and that's why we love shows like The Middle because you really can't just make this kind of stuff up.
PS I love you mom but I don't think I'm going to offer to help with any future house hold repairs.

Ellyn said...

Thank you Merther. You and Adam did a bang-up job - and you don't know just how much I appreciate it!!!

Sorry it took your whole day; chalk it up to educational experience. And maybe a bit of insight into why your father puts these things off: They always turn out to be worse than anticipated. There are very,very few "easy" projects! But at least we don't have a "dishwasher hole" in the kitchen like they did on The Middle, right?

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