Lake Forest Theater of the Absurd
Lawyers, Guns and Money Edition.
All courtesy of the Chicago Trib...'cuz there's too much absurd to wait for the Lake Forester.

Dozens of illegal guns seized in raid on commodities trader's home in Lake Forest
This is one where it does pay to read to the end of the article: Neighbors who asked not to be identified said they rarely saw Stevens, but that he recently had been upset about flooding at his residence following a water-main break in the neighborhood.

He appears to have himself under control. He was sitting on 85 assorted weapons and 50,000 rounds of ammunition. But did he try to take on the DPW? No. Unless he was arming himself for the next break down in what has come to be expected as top of the line public services. Or maybe he was just getting ready in case of an attack by, say, crazed pigs.

Court held in suburban yard
This would have had more pizazz if the judge were wearing a judicial robe instead of typical North Shore mom Talbott's gear.

Gone from today's paper, but never far from our hearts, of course, are (as seen on Good Morning America!)Mrs. Walgreen's Pigs.

And from the neighbors in Highland Park - a fate far worse than living next to pigs that burb and grunt like ill-mannered school boys:
First the skunk. Then the bigger stink.
Stench drives family from home for a year.