...And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
What was today about?
Here is a Catholic koan for you:
"If a church lady falls in the sactuary and no one is around to hear her, does she make a sound?"

I cannot answer that with certitude. Because when I fell down, there were about 60 CCD summer intensive students taking a tour of the church. I had to verify measurements of the mensa of the altar. That done I turned to walk away, completely forgetting the step down. Landing on my knees on the marble, banging my face into the processional cross, which hit the wall and and caught the attention of all the students who were supposed to be looking at the icon at the back of the church. Ouch. Double ouch. I made as graceful an exit as possible (“I’m OK kids!) and went back to the rectory to ice knees and face. It wasn’t until then I realized how lucky I was. My hip was not worse for the fall. (In fact, I was able to get up quite easily from the kneeling position with nothing to hold onto. It has only been in the past week or so that I’ve been able to kneel on a kneeler.) And I didn’t chip a tooth or do any damage of consequence. Just a few days ago I was talking about how cute Owen Wilson is, what with the wry crooked nose. But I don’t want one for myself.

Basically, it was my dignity that took a hit. I have this feeling that I was being mentioned tonight - if not by name - at more than a few dinner tables throughout the parish. And I was reminded that a manuever that I must have done innumerable times while ice skating back in the day is now quite painful.

It will be a long time (let us hope by Christmas) before I hear the phrase “Fall on your knees...” without a pang of fear.

But wait...it doesn’t end there. My bank called and left a cryptic message. I knew I wasn’t overdrawn, but I also knew I wasn’t a big time customer whom they would call to schmooze. What I found out was that their fraud detection department had caught a check, with a different name, from a different city and totally out of sequence that was imprinted with my routing and account numbers. So they had to close the account, temporarily freeze my assets, pitiable as they may be, and I had to hobble into the bank after work the thrash out with my personal banker what checks were still outstanding and should be honored. Like the checks for the car insurance and cable. The real pain for me was that I had my account number memorized and I didn’t want to have to learn a new one. I rely on calling the automated bank phone line to check my liquidity. On the other hand, this should be good for the budget, since I have new unprinted checks which I can’t use for much other than paying utility bills or whatever. No recreational - or necessary - Target shopping in the interim.

I’m packing it in early tonight. I’ll let someone else do the dishes. My knees are killing me. And, in an ill augury, I almost poked a knife in my eye while unloading the dishwasher this morning. Bed is the safest place at this point.

And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.
Not necessarily....