Must call early...
to cancel a 9:30am doctor’s appt.
Which excuse will elicit the most understanding in the receptionist who always reminds me to call “24 hours in advance if you must cancel or reschedule?”
a) “wardrobe malfunction”
b) my car is in the parking lot at church with a frozen ignition and I’ll need all morning to get down there and unstick it.
c) I’m too dejected to move after finding out that the Poetry Foundation passed me over in their search for a president.
d) I’m too dejected to move after the temperature has dropped thirty degrees. And I’m needed at home to needle my spousal unit about dropping the keys in yesterday’s copious snow, thereby introducing moisture into the car’s ignition.

I’ll go with “b.” The truth is always the best. Not the easiest to explain. I’ll try to be brief, otherwise I may go into a rant about this not being the best situation for me either, what with having to call my husband to pick me up on what is supposed to be our “Judging Amy” TV date night. And suffering the humiliation of abandoning a car at work for the second time in 10 days. And spending the money that was ear-marked for a beauty treatment at SuperCuts on the way home from the doctor’s on some of that high-alcohol lock de-icing spray. And why didn’t my father ever make good on his threat to pack up the family and move to the South Pacific.....just because we’re born here doesn’t mean we have to stay here forever, right? And how my daughter is going to think I'm yanking her around by claiming another day of not being able to pick up and sign the necessary affidavit of non-sale (too complicated to explain) at the DMV. I have to go into work early. As soon as things are organized at home, I'm off to de-ice the lock and then get to work. I'll be there 'til 9:00, Embot. You know the number. Feel free to call to complain.