Read Fr. Bryce Sibley on: Being charitable is not being "nice."
Sometimes charity is as soothing as a mother’s kiss. Other times it is as painful and necessary as a root canal. The most basic example I use with my children is when we walk in public with toilet paper stuck to our shoe. It is dangerous, embarrassing and in need of attention. When I see someone dragging a yard of toilet paper I know that the initial knowledge will most likely not be well received. But is it more charitable to look at them as though everything is OK and let the unpleasant act of charity fall to someone with more courage?