Jesus Called Today
There was a magazine article that I was fond of - something like "My Interruptions Are My Job"- and would reread often. I gave away many copies days during my La Leche League leader days. The essence of it was that a mother's true work is a compilation of all the moments in a day that could easily seen as mere interruptions.

Though the 'baby' is now thirteen there are still a lot of interruptions. And I try to find in all (OK, most) of them the kernel of my vocation. The baffling part is that it is getting more difficult; not easier as I once thought it would be. Today....today is one of those days.

It didn't take long for the day to derail. Good fortune caused me to be up at 6:15, so I had about three hours before things went awry. My remunerative work can be divided into two types of days. Those days that are so banal that I have no real response to, "How was work?" And days when I come home singing "I Wanna Be Sedated." Sedation days are leading - about 3 to 1. No matter how I try to structure my day something will come along to cause a disruption. In case I haven't mentioned it, I'm a part time church secretary. So it's not like I'm performing brain surgery.

A lot of the work I do is such appallingly bland paper-pushing that when I look up at the crucifix on my office wall I sense an enormous disconnect between Christ's sacrifice and my petty duties. I know it is work that must be done. I will accept the relative absurdity and offer up my dismay. The fact that I am not seeking emotional satisfaction in filling out forms and ordering toner doesn't mean that I won't jump upon any chance to entertain myself with a task that contains potential for some artistic satisfaction. Yes, even putting together programs and posters. That feels like fun to me. I just want a little satisfaction.

This morning I had several time sensitive projects to complete. And when I arrived at work the secretary in the front office was out. Again. When she is out I have to cover her desk, most of her duties and try to steal a few moments at my computer to do what I need to do. (There is no reciprocity here - if I die in my sleep, she won't be doing my job tomorrow...) Before I could gather my wits and supplies to move up front, another semi-creative rush job was tossed at me. And there went my plans for coming home on time and with enthusiasm for school work. Perhaps I am meant, today, to focus on detachment from my plans. To offer up myself to my interruptions. For my interruptions. With kindness and equanimity. Challenging myself to stop seething about clueless callers, the concept of paid days off and how it doesn't apply to me, the excruciating line at the Chase drive-up, the (new) rattling sound the Jeep makes.

The interruptions will still be here and there tomorrow. Tomorrow we'll all try again.
Maybe it will be another night when I wish I were sedated.
Or it could be the most banal of days. A day when I would have to make up something in order to add to the dinner table chatter.
"Jesus called today."

Jesus called today.