For 26 years, I've told kids they could open a magical door to another world just by reading a book, when the only door it ever opened for me led to a soul-sucking career in the horrifying abyss of public television.
So LeVar Burton didn't write it. Bet he thought it.
Another example of why reading the Onion while eating breakfast is not a sound practice. Time to clean the keyboard before I do the dishes.