Subconjunctival haemorrhage!
A cheap and easy way to elicit compassion (or revulsion) from your family.
And it brings out the green in my eyes!

I feel compelled to mention this, probably because of my deep feelings of inadequacy re: my sister's many accomplishments. She quit the practice of law and is now a certified medical transcriptionist. So there. I can type big words, too!
(We even make some up. How about Tura-Lura-remia? Contracted only by touching rabbits on St. Patrick's Day.)
UPDATE:Auntie Karen started her first transcription job today. The work is easier than the training. And she gets to wear a lab coat. I'll try not to dwell on the fact that her starting pay is more than I make after seven years at the same job. OK, so I'm not a juris doctor who can type loads of fancy medical terms. You know, I do have a degree in art history. And can Karen field phone calls like, "Who should I pray to if I've lost something?", "Can I eat capybara on Fridays during Lent?"or "Who's that artist with the squishy clocks?" Plus, I have a wiener whistle!