Monday, May 22, 2006

Re: the graduation ticker...
It may be a week and x number of days until graduation. But the good news is only two more days of attendance left. Two more mornings. I think we'll make it.

The really, really good news is that Martha has won the scholarship to the local "community" college. Not bad for someone who I would have nominated for the Ferris Bueller Scholarship.*

*I think the high school in the town where John Hughes lives should have a Ferris Bueller Scholarship. You know, for the highest performing senior whose attendance is less than exemplary.

[So just for fun, insert Martha for "Ferris" and von Huben wherever it says Bueller:
Ed Rooney: Are you also aware, Mrs. Bueller, that Ferris does not have what we consider to be an exemplary attendance record?
Mrs. Bueller: I don't understand.
Ed Rooney: He has missed an unacceptable number of school days. In the opinion of this educator, Ferris is not taking his academic growth seriously. Now I've spent my morning examining his records. If Ferris thinks that he can just coast through this month and still graduate, he is sorely mistaken. I have no reservations whatsoever about holding him back another year.
Mrs. Bueller: This is all news to me.
Ed Rooney: It usually is. So far this semester he has been absent nine** times.
Mrs. Bueller: Nine times?
Ed Rooney: Nine times.
Mrs. Bueller: I don't remember him being sick nine times.
Ed Rooney: That's probably because he wasn't sick. He was skipping school. Wake up and smell the coffee, Mrs. Bueller. It's a fool's paradise. He is just leading you down the primrose path.
Mrs. Bueller: I can't believe it.... (except that Mrs. von Huben can believe it.)

**Nine times? In my dreams!]

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