What can the CDC do about those of us with congenital lack of willful suspension of disbelief?

Q: What is the risk of rabies from squirrels, mice, rats, and other rodents?
A: Small rodents (such as squirrels, rats, mice, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, and chipmunks, ) and lagomorphs (such as rabbits and hares) are almost never found to be infected with rabies and have not been known to cause rabies among humans in the United States.
And that, my friends, is why I couldn’t enjoy tonight’s Malcolm in the Middle. Squirrels are just not a major risk for rabies. Of course, the priests I know don’t go around threatening people who under-cut fund raisers, either. Otherwise it was a funny show.