Eeeew....
If you are a homeless person with assorted difficulties compelled to hide yur personal belongings in a Catholic church storage closet, please reconsider the big box of condoms. That was just tacky.

It’s a long story......but while a police officer and I were going through these bags (to find a name...) I saw this huge box of Trojans and let out a gasp. The dear officer thought I had found something along the lines of a body parts and inquired as to my distress. I couldn’t bring myself to say the word. So I just pulled out the box. Weird. Almost as weird as some parishioners seeing me walking towards the squad car carrying two suitcases.....

No help yet for the missing homeless man. And I’m assuming there are no outstanding warrants for me, since the officer took down all of my pertinent info but no one was waiting to arrest me when I arrived home.