Bracing Myself....
for conferences at the high school. I had to pull out one of my favorite Roz Chast New Yorker cartoons, ‘The Berlitz Guide to Parent-Teacher Conferences’ (Teacherese is translated into English: “Marches to a different drummer.” is “Nuts.” “Needs to brush up on his people skills.” is “Homicidal.”“Creative.” is “None too bright.”“Very creative.” is “A moron, actually.” “She’s a riot!” is “I can’t stand her.” “He’s doing just fine.” is “What’s your kid’s name again?”)

Martha is doing well. So I’m sure there will be plenty of “She’s doing just fine.” And really, how much can we expect to accomplish in a five minute conference with each teacher. That is barely enough time to get past the intros.

Rick is tearing his hair out four out of five mornings working with the boys. I told him it was time to schedule a parent/teacher conference. Only this time I’ll ‘play’ parent. I fear it will be a cross between “Marches to a different drummer” and “Needs to brush up on his people skills.” Remember, I’m his teacher in the afternoon.

So, Eddie, how are your teachers this year? (My money is on “They’re both just a riot!”)