Oh, for crying out loud.....
I just saw a "news" report about Japanese thermal hair reconditioning.
For just $600 - $1000 a year, you can have straight, soft, shiny hair.
A salon rep is emoting about how much of a bargain it is for such a life altering process.
If you wish to spend $600 for straight,soft, shiny hair - just mail me a check or MO and I'll mail you mine in a ziplock bag. (It's not making my life that blissful!)

Maybe I'm just having a bad day, but if I am to infer from Channel 7 News that all that stands between my current angst and a totally hellacious life is soft, straight, shiny hair, things could be quite precarious indeed.