Funny.......
that I should run across this review of Catfight: Women and Competition by Leora Tanenbaum so soon after my spousal unit’s casual mentioning (for the nth time!) at table with the children, “Your mother threw out the scarf my girlfriend knit for me...” Yeah. In 1977. We were engaged. And I don’t care if his grandmother knit it for him, it was the ugliest thing you could imagine.

In the dating chapter, Tanenbaum theorizes that a woman's distrust of her boyfriend's ex (or any "Other Woman" who might steal his affection) is a crippling symptom of her misguided pursuit of a husband—as though men have never experienced such base resentment.

And in the areas of motherhood...........

Tanenbaum's best when grappling with the conflicting demands of work and children. She describes the isolation of motherhood with particular care, exposing women's reluctance to discuss postpartum depression or the frustrations of raising children for fear of appearing inadequately maternal. Drawing from both her own experience (she has two children) and the work of sociologists, she articulates how the pervasive ambivalence of motherhood—in which decisions about resuming work, breast-feeding, and even epidurals come laden with value judgments—drives women into further seclusion and antagonism.

I’ll have to look for this book. Probably after Christmas. A good mother would have no time for such reading in the busy Advent crush of preparation.

I wonder if Tanenbaum touches much on education. I remember being at a La Leche League function over 15 years ago and feeling like I had been slapped in the face - right there in the queue for the salad luncheon - when a woman said she was homeschooling because her children deserved the very best education. As if mine didn’t. At the time I just didn’t think I could homeschool. Now I know how she feels, but I sure try not to articulate my educational choice in a way that might make other women feel that I had punched them in the gut.

By the way...........I didn't throw out the scarf. It was adequately warm. I gave it to charity in hopes of it finding a way into a home in which it fit the ambient aesthetic.